my dear

i used to spend my 2ams engulfed in recklessness

and now i can’t walk too far down the street

for fear my call will disconnect and i won’t hear his snores

and then i won’t know how to fall asleep

i love this life, i really do, he brings stability

i’ve never felt a love that’s quite this deep

but wanderers like me must go whenever the call comes

so i sneak out to march to my own beat

i step off of my porch and it’s a quarter until 3

i make direct eye contact with a deer

his friends all run away, this is a threat that they know well

but he is still, he shows no sign of fear

he looks at me as if to say well why in the sam hell

did you get up at 3am just to stand out here?

i stare back with an empty gaze because i do not know

i just wanted some nature to be near

i’m staring in the mirror and i don’t know who i am

the tears drip down a face that is not mine

i miss the me from years gone by, i long for that old frame

but it’s been buried in the sands of time

there’s a loneliness that’s deep, more so than i can bear

i feel the sickness growing; it’s a sign

but in the morning when he wakes he’ll smile just for me

and when he does, i know that i’ll be fine

~mj